Thought if I made it to 2011 then all the 2010 issues/questions would be solved/answered. I thought visiting my old house in Cluj and being surrounded by happy memories would help give back something I kinda lost on the way. I had hoped that taking a short break and changing the scenery a bit might make it easier to relax my mind, and maybe ease my soul..wroooong! I mean, it did make me happy, but that wasn’t the point.

I still have stuff I need to figure out, I still don’t know what’s missing, however I do know where I was wrong. I was wrong in thinking that being strong and pushing through every situation would help. Turns out this doesn’t always work, and I’m not just talking about myself, I’m talking about anyone out there.  I mean, in the end, we’re just human. In the end, we can’t escape our feelings, no matter how hard we try.

So, the way I see it, if there’s a bunch of stuff you need to sort out and you know that being strong and rational about it you might just see things through, but you choose to not do that, and instead you let your feelings get in the way, then, well..you’re screwed!

And so I ask myself what the hell can one do except turn stone-cold and rational? How do we solve things just by listening to our emotions (not just having a feeling about something)? Can we even do that? Or is the whole human race just doomed to forever needing a reality check and a kick in the ass?

I’ve learned things the hard way most of the time and have only heard about the possibility of learning the easy way. I’m starting to think it’s a myth invented by some naive optimist such as myself, who one day fell in love or something and thought he/she’d just spread the word about this so-called easy way of learning things in life. I at least have the balls to admit that optimism isn’t all it takes to face your problems. Guess what? Wishful thinking is just an accessory to help enhance a hopefully well chosen attitude. I guess in the worst case you don’t have much to lose, but a simple and efficient manner of reaching a solution would be preferred.

So, in the end, what else is there to do except the simple act of taking matters into your own hands? Is there another way out? An easy one, perhaps?

Oh, by the way, Happy New Year!

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